The Isotopes
Feature Writing
September 24, 2008
Nature's Splendors
I have been breathing for 15 years now. But I think this is the very first time I ever inhaled the true 'fresh air'.
The Philippines is full of wonders. She has many expectacular sceneries. Her Apo, Chocolate Hills, El Nido, and many more others. Nature's gifts. But I live in Rizal. And Davao, Bohol and Palawan is too far. Luckily, Laguna has Mount Makiling.
I've got allergic rhinitis. In each day, I start it with an absurd series of sneezes. It's because dust irritates my nose. But when I slept at Makiling on a camp, it's as if allergens were no-no's. Pollution is never present in Makiling's premises. No annoying smoke belchers. Just fresh air.
In my hometown, my mother warned me not to bathe in the rain, for I might get sick. I remember when I was younger, my mother applies baby oil on my back when I wanted to play with my friends in the rain. This is to prevent getting sick. But when I was in Makiling, I violated everything. I bathe in the rain. I didn't wear a shirt, nor did I apply oil. But I unexpectedly didn't get sick. No colds. No cough. No flu.
Cleanliness. That is Makiling. The air you can breathe is most refreshing above all. No smoke. No pollution. It's the masterpiece of trees. Trees consecrate the very atmosphere of Makiling.
Since I was studying, I never had an opportunity to truly relax. But Makiling introduced unwinding to me. Her superb forests are so beautiful, it frees my restlessness. It wipes away all my worries and insecurities, as if I don't have any problems. Relaxing is the sound of toads' croaking and cicadas. Their symphony is like a classic lullaby, rocking my cradle and lulling me to rest.
Peace. That's Makiling's middle name. When I got there, everything I have in mind perished. No politics, no corruption. No homeworks, no projects, no hanging requirements. Just rest. Just peace. Just harmony.
Words aren't enough to describe Makiling. All I can say is that she showed me the true meaning of Nature.
TRAVELOGUE. travelogue is also my waterloo, just like Henry-chan. :D When I wrote this article, I'm certainly not in the mood, my stomach is rumbling, and I suffered heartburn. That is why I'm not even satisfied by my own work. But anyhow, I have to post it for evaluation purposes. :D:D
1 comment:
-ingat sa fragments and run-ons.
-although i don't know if it is the style that you use, still when writing in prose remember the subject-verb-object rule.
-capture nature. the surroundings, the sounds, the smell. for the audience to be able to really get into your write up, you have to show them what is it you are really talking about without sounding too obvious about it. this is feature writing. SHOW and not TELL. basic principle yan sa feature writing.
-careful with your transitory devices
("since i was studying") you might wanna change this to ever since i started going to school or whatever
("In each day, I start it with an absurd series of sneezes.") i started each day with an absurd series of sneezes.
-(" Words aren't enough to describe Makiling. All I can say is that she showed me the true meaning of Nature.") too cliche. you might wanna revise. again, SHOW and not tell.
-it's good that you use less adjectives in your descriptions. it's a good sign for a budding writer. however, if you want your writing to be alive (naks ako nga patay magsulat e.haha) USE ACTION VERBS for your nouns instead of ADJECTIVES.
-hope this helps you. Good luck!
God bless!
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